There once was a rock...

Rocks are amazing things. 

They are created under pressure 

Or in intense heat

They crumble over ages, and ages, and ages

Destroyed daily by simple things like wind and water 

Picking away at the molecules

One by one

Until mountains of rock

Become the expansive beaches of sand

Undeniably amazing. 

Always, holding a rock is comforting

The solidity, the weight, the sheer confidence

I am a rock, this is what I am. 

From the smallest pebble to the largest mountain boulder

They claim reality

Even while remaining significantly impermanent

Changing daily in that never ending cycle we call life

Undeniably amazing. 

I have a few rock stories. 

But there is one that I wish to tell, here and now

It is about a rock that hit me on the head in the Atlantic Ocean. It's story hasn't finished, but our journey together has hit a critical moment, and this is where I saw God. 

A few days after my beloved previous boyfriend broke up with me, my parents took my sorry self to the Jersey shore. It was a lovely day, sand castles were built, some people got very burnt, we all had sand in our shoes, and I was hit on the head by this rock. I decided to keep the rock, for many reasons, mostly because I felt the desperate need for something solid to hold onto. Fitting nicely between my two hands, this rock fit the bill very well. I decided that as replacement therapy and moral support, I would carry around the rock for a while until I felt... better. 

Almost seven months later, I have still been carrying around the rock daily. While most days I do feel better, there are still days I don't and it's comforting to know I have something solid and real with me that isn't going to leave me. However, coming up on starting a new chapter, actually, a whole new era of my life, my spiritual director suggested I think about putting it down.

I have nowhere to put it, I told him. I'm moving in a few months and my house keeps changing. Thinking, I'm not ready, I don't want to, not yet please...

I stopped thinking about for a few days, the rock safely tucked in my pocket. 

Today, I received my second ordination gift. From my previous boyfriend's parents. 

A rock bowl. 

Specifically designed for keeping rocks which signify important moments in your life. Specifically coming with painted rocks to help you get started and to be added to. Specifically designed to be a home for the rocks which you put down. 

God, I see it. I see what you did there. 

Perhaps it's time to put the rock down.