Our Friend Socrates

Many of you know our friend Socrates. He lives in the hearts and minds of the masses as the first and greatest thinker of the classical world. There is nothing quite like knowing Socrates will be with you wherever you choose to wander across the great vista of knowledge. He unlocked issues of justice, freedom, peace and the human soul. He has given comfort to millions with his questions of such brilliance, such relevance, as his "

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

" wondering shows.

You knew I was talking about the monkey, right?

Do Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?

First, let's consider why vegetarians are vegetarians. Some have dietary restrictions, some find it morally wrong to eat animals, some don't like meat or have an aversion to eating anything with eyes. There's probably plenty of other reasons as well but from my limited knowledge of vegetarianism, this is all I can come up with.
I suppose I could possibly see someone being so horrendously outraged at the killing of other animals that even performing an action that merely resembles such a travesty, ie. eating an animal cracker, would throw off their moral compass. Other than that, I'm not really seeing the problem with a vegetarian eating an animal cracker.
In order to strengthen this argument (or not), I created a poll where some random people on the internet voted. 4 out of 5 of the respondents agreed that vegetarians eat animal crackers, 3 of them witnessing such an event. The 5th person who said no was probably just trying to mess with the statistics. Also, I personally asked my friendly neighborhood vegetarian whether she eats animal crackers and she responded positively.
However, despite all yay's to this question there still stands that one nay. Therefore, it is impossible to currently prove that all those in the set of all vegetarians eat animal crackers.

If You Try To Fail And Succeed Which Have You Done?

Let us follow the logic. 

If you are trying to fail, that means failure is the goal. 

If you succeed in achieving your goal, then you have succeeded in failure. 

At this stage, you have succeeded. 

However, your goal was failure, but you did not fail. 

Hence you failed. Therefore you succeeded in failure. 

Thus, you have been welcomed into the world of Circular Logic. 

Circular Logic is nasty, annoying, persistant, and my favorite kind of logic. 

There is nothing else in the world quite like a perfect circle. 

A perfect circle is whole, holy..., hole-ly.

I mean, a perfect circle is ... perfect!

The First Of The Last

We looked forward to it.
We were scared about it.
We ignored it.
We denied it.
It came.
It included talking to Professors.
It included classes and infamous people.
It included Root Beer Floats.
It included Chicken Wings.
It included Big Bang Episodes.
It included nail painting and a friend.
It went.
It was good.

The Eve of the First Anything Can Happen Thursday

Tomorrow is a momentous occasion for multiple reasons. First, it is our last first day of classes in our undergrad careers. That's right, classes start tomorrow, there is no point in denying it any longer... We... are... seniors...

Second, it is the first of a crazy string of "Anything Can Happen Thursdays." Thursdays have been staked as the day when we must have lunch together, as well as submit to whatever crazy, ridiculous trouble we get ourselves into. Running down hallways with a nerf gun and stuffed penguin, for instance. Also, starting September 23, Thursdays will be Big Bang Theory nights!

Third, the world ends on a Thursday, so you never know...

Why Don't Sheep Shrink When It Rains?

After much thought, the answer hit me like lightning, like a streak across the sky. Its obvious! Sheep are born pre-shrunk! The amniotic fluid and mother's body heat does the work before the lamb ever hits the grass.



Here we conquer life's greatest questions.

A Message From the Department of Homeland Security

There has been a small rumor circulating describing the immense amount of strange alien creatures furiously stampeding towards our small, secluded campus. In order to promote a strong level of communication, knowledge, and general figuring out of what the heck is going on, this terrifying new species shall be unofficially deemed as "freshman". We strongly advocate staying at least 500 yards from these freshman and avoid eye contact at all times. Although it is not yet proven, there have been reports of direct eye contact with these freshmen causing immediate and certain death.

As a result of these sightings, the campus wide threat level will be elevated from "Yellow" to "Run for your lives!"

Thank you for your patience and cooperation.

The Countdown Begins (Again)

Tomorrow is the day for this college campus... First-Years Move In!
This means first-years, parents, heat, humidity, mini-fridges, crowds, and lots and lots and lots of emotions. Hopefully it all goes well and the shoulder does not act up too badly. Sorry for this bad post, I am very tired after the week of training.

The Toaster Oven Escapades Have Started

The slightly handicapped rouge gluten-free cook has had some successes! The illegal toaster oven works and it hasn't set off the fire alarm! Hallelujah! After a full hour or so of anxious pacing up and down my overstuffed dorm room, I have made bread and chocolate cupcakes and dreams of goodies to come. Now I am thoroughly ignoring the pile of dirty dishes and sending longing looks at the not too distant divine invention, the bed.  Tomorrow shall dawn slightly less inviting with the pile of dishes still waiting and the lack of printer ink, but I am much too tired to care right now. Two days until the freshman move in; look out world!

Aspiration: World Domination

I have a robot...

My robot's name is R2-D2. He is blue, has blinking lights, and makes some interesting sound effects (hence the name). What, you may ask, does my robot do? Well, he heats up ABS plastic, forces it through a 1mm thick nozzle and, through the coordination of three moving stages, turns the plastic into a 3D object. If it sounds like magic, that's probably because it is, but it works!

The motivation behind acquiring R2 was, of course, for world domination. This goal has progressed through a mission titled Operation: Stick Figure Army.

For more info on OSFA

To watch a video of R2

To answer the question...

In the words of one of the greatest minds of our time, Pumba: "Home is where your rump rests."

wait, where is home?

Part of the major issue arising from this whole twenty something and trying to be on your own is the question: where is your home?

meanwhile, back at the fort...

While Sonic is sitting in her corner debating the finer points of her academic future and talents, I have been preparing for my journey back into the college world from the summer. That means, of course, packing, going to the psychologist, buying practically a portable kitchen, getting metal pins removed from my collarbone, and trying to remember if I lost my guitar tuner or already packed it. The eventfulness of my summer might be noted here, but as a newly handicapped, newly gluten-free cook who is looking forward to being RA to freshman and double (TWO!) comping, why relive the past when the future looks so bright? But truly the world is not all that bad after ones' first shower in 48 days after years of being accustomed to showers everyday. One might even say it is an amazing feeling, stepping into the hot raining water that massages the skin as one cleanses oneself from the dust and grim of the heat of the day. Surely everyone can agree that sometimes there is nothing better than a nice hot shower.

"The Comp"

I recently moved into my new room for the year. It's a sign that the start of senior year is quickly approaching, which is scary and exciting. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of classes and such [cut to two weeks into the semester and I'm banging my head against the wall], but scary because soon I will have no choice but to begin the horrifying task of "comping" [shriek]. Comping, as it is defined in The Ultimate Guide for Nerdy Students Attending Such Demanding Higher Educational Institutions It Turns Their Brains To Mush, is the act of attempting to understand, analyze, and report on data, experiences, and research findings based on a topic you thought you might be interested in four months ago. This all culminates into a period of frustration, disappointment, then grief as you have now convinced yourself that you aren't fit to exist in the world of academia and your survival up to this point has been based on pure bullshitting skill, your mother's care packages of bubbles and coloring supplies, and that four leaf clover you ate when you were three. On that note, I think I'll go sit in the corner of my new room and rock back and forth with my head between my knees.

In the Beginning...

Everyone in their twenties faces the same challenge of the age: old enough to know better, but too young to care. And so we, Yoda and Sonic, have banded together during this last year of our undergraduate careers to witness the sanity and insanity of life.

With 277 days until graduation, there is no time to lose.