"The thing about resolutions, I find is . . .there’s always tomorrow." – Bilbo Baggins
It's about that time of year again. The time where everyone makes resolutions for the New Year and sees how long they can keep it up. I can always tell when it's after New Years when the amount of people at the gym skyrockets with new members trying to fulfill their get-in-shape resolutions.
I've never really been much of a New Years resolution maker myself, but I thought this year maybe I would give it a try. I've decided I want to allow myself to take the time to write more. When I was younger I used to write all the time, but over the past few years life has gotten in the way.
Now I'm by far no resolution-keeper expert, but one thing I have noticed, at least for myself, is that it is much easier to keep a resolution longer if you have something concrete to aim for. For instance, "get in shape" is too ambiguous. One could say "well, round is a shape, so I guess I'm done." Instead, the resolution could be: "I want to lose 10 lbs" or "I want to go to the gym 4 days a week."
I need to set some distinct guidelines for my resolution. So I found an unused notebook in my closet and I've decided that every day, starting January 1st, I want to fill at least one page. Maybe that page is filled with complete mumbo jumbo, then so be it. Only time will tell how long I'll last.
What resolution did you make?
Merry Christmas for those of you who believe in such things
Merry Christmas!!
I hope your day is joyous and full of grace!
I hope your day is joyous and full of grace!
"I swear I was in suspended animation!"
Well, life as a zombie for two months was, uh... interesting. Nonetheless, I survived my 7th semester of college. 7?! I think I can vaguely see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe it was just a lightning bug...
Anyway, now I'm back (from outer space?) and am prepared for all adventures of the awesome variety! Although, I'm not sure a Snorlax would awaken by mere poking... Though I suppose there's only one way to find out...
Also, if anyone can name the reference for the title of this post, I'll, um... give you a high five!
Anyway, now I'm back (from outer space?) and am prepared for all adventures of the awesome variety! Although, I'm not sure a Snorlax would awaken by mere poking... Though I suppose there's only one way to find out...
Also, if anyone can name the reference for the title of this post, I'll, um... give you a high five!
The Return of the Great and Fast Sonic the Hedgehog!
Well, this isn't quite it. But as any reader may or may not have noticed, my partner in crime has not made their presence known here for the last two months. This is sad news indeed to my ears considering this was Sonic's idea; I entered the blogging world under the Sonic banner.
So, I came today
to entreat the Great, the Fast, the Amazing
Sonic the Hedgehog
to return and conquer!
To enjoin me in treasure robbing,
Snorlax poking, and other awesome adventures
across the multi-layered universe
we like to call
the Internet!
(One would like Sonic could beat Snorlax any day)
So, I came today
to entreat the Great, the Fast, the Amazing
Sonic the Hedgehog
to return and conquer!
To enjoin me in treasure robbing,
Snorlax poking, and other awesome adventures
across the multi-layered universe
we like to call
the Internet!
(One would like Sonic could beat Snorlax any day)
And We Find The Defendant... Sane!
That is how I felt yesterday.
I was having psychological testing done for my career process and I found out that per the intelligence and personality testing of the world, I am sane.
Sane. Sanity. San-i-ty.
Defined as the state of soundness of mind. Defined as the state of soundness of judgement.
Incredibility abounds.
However, this too shall pass and so, with a song in my heart, my chin in the air, and a bounce in my step, I shall venture forth into the world to buy some stockings. Warm stockings I should think. Perhaps black, or maybe grey. Although, I have always like gray better. No worries, I shall too figure this out.
I was having psychological testing done for my career process and I found out that per the intelligence and personality testing of the world, I am sane.
Sane. Sanity. San-i-ty.
Defined as the state of soundness of mind. Defined as the state of soundness of judgement.
Incredibility abounds.
However, this too shall pass and so, with a song in my heart, my chin in the air, and a bounce in my step, I shall venture forth into the world to buy some stockings. Warm stockings I should think. Perhaps black, or maybe grey. Although, I have always like gray better. No worries, I shall too figure this out.
E-I-E-I-Ohhhhh
Today something terrible occurred to me:
There are, and will be forever more, people who will never see a farm animal in real life.
While some of you may think this is an odd thing to lament, I feel saddened by the idea that some people will grow up and live their entire lives loving the taste of their food without ever considering what it takes to make such delicacies.
The reason for this sudden dismay came from a run in with this website:
http://www.thesheepmarket.com/
The disappointing ability of humanity to simply draw a sheep has destroyed the foundations of my trust in this world.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.
[In other news: Snow.
]
There are, and will be forever more, people who will never see a farm animal in real life.
While some of you may think this is an odd thing to lament, I feel saddened by the idea that some people will grow up and live their entire lives loving the taste of their food without ever considering what it takes to make such delicacies.
The reason for this sudden dismay came from a run in with this website:
http://www.thesheepmarket.com/
The disappointing ability of humanity to simply draw a sheep has destroyed the foundations of my trust in this world.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.
[In other news: Snow.
I passed my Math Senior Project and yet...
Dear World,
What utter crap this life can be. Sometimes you live in a veritable ocean of known blessings, you have scrumptious food on the table, you have warm soft fluffy socks on your feet, you have more friends than you have time to spend with them all. However, many times it seems instead that the bank has come collecting on your house, your socks are full of holes, and your friends all have other friends with whom they would rather enjoy their precious time. At these times, all you want is a little fun, something simple that provokes true laughter instead of the pile of work and the upset stomach.
Alas, it is not to be so. I am given to wonder where our dreams go in such instances. We squash our dreams for the unrelenting now, awaiting the morrow when our dreams have time to come true. We watch them come and we watch them go. Regret and despair are such harsh words under the cover of the indifference and doldrum society allows. I sit here, in companion with only my fish, and I give in to the waiting, the waiting Dr. Seuss so disparagingly disdains, the waiting to change one's stars, the waiting for the Advent purple to change to Christmas white, the waiting for the ship to come into shore.
Although without waiting, we enter the instantly gratified world of technology that has the possibility to destroy our ability to adapt and grow. We enter the never satisfied hunger of wanting nothing because everything is to be had at hand immediately. We enter a world where there is nothing worth waiting for.
And as that is not the case, we find there is a time for waiting, there is a season for waiting, there is a reason for waiting. Something better is coming and the anticipation is what it might truly be makes it better than all the randomness of other unknown events. The waiting changes the receiver of the gift of life. It makes you that much more grateful.
Can you teach us how to darn our own socks instead?
Sincerely,
Yoda
What utter crap this life can be. Sometimes you live in a veritable ocean of known blessings, you have scrumptious food on the table, you have warm soft fluffy socks on your feet, you have more friends than you have time to spend with them all. However, many times it seems instead that the bank has come collecting on your house, your socks are full of holes, and your friends all have other friends with whom they would rather enjoy their precious time. At these times, all you want is a little fun, something simple that provokes true laughter instead of the pile of work and the upset stomach.
Alas, it is not to be so. I am given to wonder where our dreams go in such instances. We squash our dreams for the unrelenting now, awaiting the morrow when our dreams have time to come true. We watch them come and we watch them go. Regret and despair are such harsh words under the cover of the indifference and doldrum society allows. I sit here, in companion with only my fish, and I give in to the waiting, the waiting Dr. Seuss so disparagingly disdains, the waiting to change one's stars, the waiting for the Advent purple to change to Christmas white, the waiting for the ship to come into shore.
Although without waiting, we enter the instantly gratified world of technology that has the possibility to destroy our ability to adapt and grow. We enter the never satisfied hunger of wanting nothing because everything is to be had at hand immediately. We enter a world where there is nothing worth waiting for.
And as that is not the case, we find there is a time for waiting, there is a season for waiting, there is a reason for waiting. Something better is coming and the anticipation is what it might truly be makes it better than all the randomness of other unknown events. The waiting changes the receiver of the gift of life. It makes you that much more grateful.
Can you teach us how to darn our own socks instead?
Sincerely,
Yoda
Beloved
In grand 'old enough to know better, too young to care' style, I went to a local band concert at the local town club last night.
I can still hear my ears ringing, my clavicle still throbs with the bass, my lower back is still complaining of the pains of standing for three and a half hours without much movement...
and yet...
there is a sense of belonging at a concert, a sense of having a specific role, knowing exactly who you are and where you are supposed to be. How many places in this world do you know exactly how you fit into the grand scheme of things? There I was just another crazy concert goer, and that's all I needed to be. But when you wake up in the morning, do you know who you are supposed to be?
I can still hear my ears ringing, my clavicle still throbs with the bass, my lower back is still complaining of the pains of standing for three and a half hours without much movement...
and yet...
there is a sense of belonging at a concert, a sense of having a specific role, knowing exactly who you are and where you are supposed to be. How many places in this world do you know exactly how you fit into the grand scheme of things? There I was just another crazy concert goer, and that's all I needed to be. But when you wake up in the morning, do you know who you are supposed to be?
Thanksgiving!!
In my blissful state of having recently enjoyed delectable gluten-free delicacies I would like to take a moment to be grown up and with shock, thankful.
Honestly.
I am thankful for stuffed penguin pillows.
oh, wait... that's not right.
Truly I am thankful for quattuorvigintillion (10^75) things.
However, I didn't have enough time or space to list all quattuorvigintillion things,
so I just picked the top 6.
(feel special)
God
my family, even the obnoxious members
Latro
Sonic
Captain Malcolm Reynolds
Our Beloved Ewok Friend
(I love code names :) )
Harry Potter 7
The big nerds Sonic and Yoda are going to see Harry Potter 7 Part 1 tomorrow night. Who else is?
We will also be hosting a discussion about the movie after. Please join!
We will also be hosting a discussion about the movie after. Please join!
The Average, The Mean, The Expected... It's Pretty Normal
I noticed today we have 180 days left until graduation and it immediately came to mind that that's how many days in a school year in my home school district.
I got to thinking, is that something normal, 180 school days? Its less than half a year, even though it certainly does not feel like it when you are in school.
"The U.S. government doesn't require a certain number of school days per year. Each state determines school-year length on its own. According to the U.S. Department of Education, American schools average 180 days of instruction per year. That figure includes public and private schools at both the elementary and secondary levels. A July 2004 report (MS Word document) from the Education Commission of the States lists each state's school-year requirements. Thirty states have 180-day school years, two have school years longer than 180 days, and 11 have school years shorter than 180 days. Minnesota is the only state that doesn't require a set number of days or instructional hours for schools. Each district can dictate its own school year.
Many countries have longer school years than the U.S. According to a UNESCO study of 43 countries, 33 of them have school years longer than 180 days. Some go as many as 220 days per year. Whether or not the number is nationally mandated varies from country to country."
Interesting.
Fun fact for today: boilerplate is listed as a synonym for average on thesaurus.com
I got to thinking, is that something normal, 180 school days? Its less than half a year, even though it certainly does not feel like it when you are in school.
"The U.S. government doesn't require a certain number of school days per year. Each state determines school-year length on its own. According to the U.S. Department of Education, American schools average 180 days of instruction per year. That figure includes public and private schools at both the elementary and secondary levels. A July 2004 report (MS Word document) from the Education Commission of the States lists each state's school-year requirements. Thirty states have 180-day school years, two have school years longer than 180 days, and 11 have school years shorter than 180 days. Minnesota is the only state that doesn't require a set number of days or instructional hours for schools. Each district can dictate its own school year.
Many countries have longer school years than the U.S. According to a UNESCO study of 43 countries, 33 of them have school years longer than 180 days. Some go as many as 220 days per year. Whether or not the number is nationally mandated varies from country to country."
Interesting.
Fun fact for today: boilerplate is listed as a synonym for average on thesaurus.com
the solution
First, could no one think of anything better at all than the two apple-pie centered comments on the last post? Then I think conclusively apple pie wins. (And boy, was it delicious!!)
Second:
Since I am only in my twenties, I cannot say that I have done anything for the last 50 years. However my hypothesis at this time is that mathematics is one of the most emotional things I will ever do in my entire life. One minute you think you finally did it this time... figured out the proof of something, fully, honestly, you yourself, thought about something logically and solved a complete problem. What joy!
And then of course. No. you spot a simple and small hole. And you think... but thats nothing, it doesn't really throw out the whole... but then it starts glaring at you. Ha! as if you actually figured something out! how could you possibly think you could tackle Mathematics.
So you walk away. Take some time. Think of something new, something different... something with hope, something that might just be... the solution.
Second:
Since I am only in my twenties, I cannot say that I have done anything for the last 50 years. However my hypothesis at this time is that mathematics is one of the most emotional things I will ever do in my entire life. One minute you think you finally did it this time... figured out the proof of something, fully, honestly, you yourself, thought about something logically and solved a complete problem. What joy!
And then of course. No. you spot a simple and small hole. And you think... but thats nothing, it doesn't really throw out the whole... but then it starts glaring at you. Ha! as if you actually figured something out! how could you possibly think you could tackle Mathematics.
So you walk away. Take some time. Think of something new, something different... something with hope, something that might just be... the solution.
Name something better!
Play along with me...
What is better than
sitting with your best friend and fresh hot apple pie and playing video games?
What is better than
sitting with your best friend and fresh hot apple pie and playing video games?
The Driveway, the Parkway, the Freeway, the Highway...??
I have recently hit upon a new truth in my life and I wanted to share this knowledge with you as you might not know.
The truth is this:
the English language is slightly confusing.
And because I know I cannot offer concrete proof of this fact,
I would like to succumb to the logical fallacy of proof by example.
As such, I lay out my examples below for your perusal
and I hope that you will share some of your favorites with me.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
I did not object to the object.
They were too close to the door to close it.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
I read it once and will read it again
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.
/**
A tangent:
It would seem that sometimes what you see and what you say do not necessarily line up.
Have you ever noticed?
For example:
Bomb, comb, and womb don't rhyme with each other: You say "bom,""kohm,"and "woom.".
And while we are being tangential...
did you know
that there is a hybrid fruit of a tangerine and a lemon?
tangerine + lemon = tangemon
Now you do.
*/
I'd also like to put forth this rather long poem I found online here.
Let me know how well you do in pronouncing everything.
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation' s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.?
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits?
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!
As Professor Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady says,
"The French don't care what they do actually, as long as they pronounce it properly. There even are places where English completely disappears; in America they haven't used it for years."
Yoda Revisits the Good Ole Days
This year for Halloween, Sonic and I wanted to be Jedi Masters.
I made awesome cloaks and we made awesome Jedis, but we came up against some life questions.
Who was Yoda's master?
What race was Yoda?
What was Yoda like as a kid?
I did some research and found some answers to these Great Questions:
N'Kata Del Gormo found Yoda and recognized his force-abilities and became Yoda's teacher.
No one has ever known what race Yoda is, and no one knows if he has always been green and small and wrinkly. Yoda does not speak of his youth, but we here agree that he must have always been awesome.
So I'd like to have a moment of silence for the life of Yoda.
Thank you.
I made awesome cloaks and we made awesome Jedis, but we came up against some life questions.
Who was Yoda's master?
What race was Yoda?
What was Yoda like as a kid?
I did some research and found some answers to these Great Questions:
N'Kata Del Gormo found Yoda and recognized his force-abilities and became Yoda's teacher.
No one has ever known what race Yoda is, and no one knows if he has always been green and small and wrinkly. Yoda does not speak of his youth, but we here agree that he must have always been awesome.
So I'd like to have a moment of silence for the life of Yoda.
Thank you.
So yea... 200 days until Graduation!
As you can see by the countdown ticker on the sidebar... we have 200 days until May 14th! Graduation! AHHHHHHHH!
Well, its not that bad.
I have been a little freaked out this week because of the unfinished state of my math senior project (aka my comp). I had not planned on studying complex topology at the beginning of the semester and if you know anything about mathematics, complex topology is not the easiest advanced mathematical branch out there. The topic has the nice and unassuming title of Escher's Complex Twist and basically is looking at the mathematics behind this picture:
The paper I am working off of has this great site with lots of pretty pictures:
<"http://escherdroste.math.leidenuniv.nl/">
For those of you who do know something about mathematics, my goal is to be able to explain the following two definitions and show how they can help create the picture from a basic straight picture.
If E is a simply connected space, and if p mapping E to B is a covering map,
then we say that E is a universal covering space of B.
And
Let p map E to B. If f is a continuous mapping of some space X
into B, a lifting of f is a map f' mapping X to E such that p composed with f '= f.
Lots of fun! But seriously, I am looking forward to graduation even if it means meeting the unknown of what comes after an undergrad education.
11001000 Days and Counting...
We have reached a milestone in our countdown to graduation. 200 (or 11001000 for all you genuine computer scientists out there) days left until we (hopefully) walk across that stage. It seems like so little time, but before it's all said and done we will have filled out countless grad school applications, thought many times about how we'd never be able to finish our comps, finished our comps any way, and fulfilled any last minute credit requirements.
My comp is pretty much in full swing at this point. My final proposal is due next week, so I shall hopefully soon be given the full go ahead nod. Then I may just hide away and not see sunlight for 200 days.
With only so much time left and quite enough to do, I only hope I can keep my focu-- oooh look! Swedish fish!
My comp is pretty much in full swing at this point. My final proposal is due next week, so I shall hopefully soon be given the full go ahead nod. Then I may just hide away and not see sunlight for 200 days.
With only so much time left and quite enough to do, I only hope I can keep my focu-- oooh look! Swedish fish!
Darn You Blue Screen of Death!
Like most people I know, sometimes I have a hard time dealing with unwanted personal change.
Like the death of my laptop.
My personal computing companion of four years has made it known that it wants retirement and it wants it now. So after some internal struggle (and contemplation of financial struggle), I gave it its desires: retirement with a pension program to keep it happily living out the rest of its days.
So, I'd like to introduce you all to EmmaCassandra.
My lovely brown Asus K25 Notebook.
I now I learn the joys of a split personality computer using Ubuntu 10.04 and Windows 7.
May our next few years together be blessed.
Amen.
Like the death of my laptop.
My personal computing companion of four years has made it known that it wants retirement and it wants it now. So after some internal struggle (and contemplation of financial struggle), I gave it its desires: retirement with a pension program to keep it happily living out the rest of its days.
So, I'd like to introduce you all to EmmaCassandra.
My lovely brown Asus K25 Notebook.
I now I learn the joys of a split personality computer using Ubuntu 10.04 and Windows 7.
May our next few years together be blessed.
Amen.
Harry Potter Rises From the Dead, Defeats Evil, Wants a Sandwich...
Recently, Yoda and I have have finished our latest reading of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. There were many good memories and things that we didn't catch in our first read-throughs. However, one part stands out the most: the last line of the entire series (minus the epilogue). Harry has just survived the horrific Battle of Hogwarts (of which many of his companions did not), survived the Avada Kedavra Curse again, and vanquished the most evil dark wizard of all time. He then ignores all of his celebrating and grieving supporters, barely explains himself to Ron and Hermione, and hardly thinks about Ginny. All he wants is a freaking sandwich! In bed! Made by his house elf! WTH?
So this has lead to multiple discussions about men and their sandwiches. Why are sandwiches so important to men? And why can't they make their own damn sandwiches?!
After a little research, we realized we weren't the only ones questioning the ending of this widely popular seven-part series. Here's a link to another confounded reader.
Quite a ridiculous way to end a series such as this, if you ask me. It also has me wondering about Harry and Ginny's future relationship. Does she ever make him a sandwich?
(Also, we would like to give a shout out to Hermione's amazingly awesome beaded bag which is a key element in the book. Yoda's infinite wisdom: "That beaded bag has more appearances than Ginny.")
Some other references to add to the men-and-their-sandwiches discussion include xkcd, which includes this strip:
A consistent battle has been ongoing on the site dearblankpleaseblank.com. This site allows users to submit short letters addressed to anyone or thing and sign it as anyone or thing.
This letter appeared in the stream:
Dear girls,
If you can read this, make me a sammich.
Sincerely, a boy.
It was followed by these come-backs:
Dear Men,
Please shut up and make your own damn sandwich. Last time I checked you didn't have anything else to do.
Sincerely, I'll Throw the Sandwich in Your Face.
Dear guys who work at Subway,
Look who's making the 'sammich' now.
Sincerely, Girls.
One point of note I would like to make here: Besides the fact that men are obsessed with their sandwiches, why do they insist on spelling it wrong? What the heck is a "sammich?"
There is also one entity not yet considered in this discussion: the sandwich itself. How does it feel about being thrown into this ridiculous vortex of gender roles?
A few dearblankpleaseblank users have considered this:
Dear Sammich,
We didn't mean for you to get caught up in the middle of all this...
Sincerely, Boys and Girls.
Dear Guys and Girls,
I never meant for all this fighting. I just want everyone to get along.
Sincerely, Sammich.
Hmm, I wonder what the genders were of these two posters.
The question also still stands as to why men can't go and make their own damn sandwiches. Here is a man's point of view. This just shows that a man lacks the ability to focus long enough to make sandwiches. Why is this our, the women's, fault?
From a women's point of view (or at least this one's): I don't think that a woman making a man a sandwich is a completely unacceptable situation. The problems arise when the man demands the sandwich out of an attempt of power and pure laziness. A please and thank you would be nice.
There are women who are repelling these demeaning demands. Here is an example of a joke in the opposite direction:
UPDATE:
This post recently arrived on dearblankpleaseblank and I thought it needed mentioning here:
Dear Husband,
I'll make you a sandwich as soon as you bring home some bacon...
Sincerely, Your Wife
That's right!
So this has lead to multiple discussions about men and their sandwiches. Why are sandwiches so important to men? And why can't they make their own damn sandwiches?!
After a little research, we realized we weren't the only ones questioning the ending of this widely popular seven-part series. Here's a link to another confounded reader.
Quite a ridiculous way to end a series such as this, if you ask me. It also has me wondering about Harry and Ginny's future relationship. Does she ever make him a sandwich?
(Also, we would like to give a shout out to Hermione's amazingly awesome beaded bag which is a key element in the book. Yoda's infinite wisdom: "That beaded bag has more appearances than Ginny.")
Some other references to add to the men-and-their-sandwiches discussion include xkcd, which includes this strip:
A consistent battle has been ongoing on the site dearblankpleaseblank.com. This site allows users to submit short letters addressed to anyone or thing and sign it as anyone or thing.
This letter appeared in the stream:
Dear girls,
If you can read this, make me a sammich.
Sincerely, a boy.
It was followed by these come-backs:
Dear Men,
Please shut up and make your own damn sandwich. Last time I checked you didn't have anything else to do.
Sincerely, I'll Throw the Sandwich in Your Face.
Dear guys who work at Subway,
Look who's making the 'sammich' now.
Sincerely, Girls.
One point of note I would like to make here: Besides the fact that men are obsessed with their sandwiches, why do they insist on spelling it wrong? What the heck is a "sammich?"
There is also one entity not yet considered in this discussion: the sandwich itself. How does it feel about being thrown into this ridiculous vortex of gender roles?
A few dearblankpleaseblank users have considered this:
Dear Sammich,
We didn't mean for you to get caught up in the middle of all this...
Sincerely, Boys and Girls.
Dear Guys and Girls,
I never meant for all this fighting. I just want everyone to get along.
Sincerely, Sammich.
Hmm, I wonder what the genders were of these two posters.
The question also still stands as to why men can't go and make their own damn sandwiches. Here is a man's point of view. This just shows that a man lacks the ability to focus long enough to make sandwiches. Why is this our, the women's, fault?
From a women's point of view (or at least this one's): I don't think that a woman making a man a sandwich is a completely unacceptable situation. The problems arise when the man demands the sandwich out of an attempt of power and pure laziness. A please and thank you would be nice.
There are women who are repelling these demeaning demands. Here is an example of a joke in the opposite direction:
UPDATE:
This post recently arrived on dearblankpleaseblank and I thought it needed mentioning here:
Dear Husband,
I'll make you a sandwich as soon as you bring home some bacon...
Sincerely, Your Wife
That's right!
Please Don't Turn Us In For Kidnapping...
I do not think either of the authors of this esteemed blog are in any position to comment on the state of this world under the indirect control of the internet monstrosities, Facebook and Google. However, I do venture to say that sometimes it is prudent to be wary of what one leaves as a status for other people to read.
Obviously this comes from personal experience and as such, I will henceforth relate the adventures of Friday Night.
At around 1:30pm Friday afternoon boredom and confusion as to the day's plans were getting me down. So I did a pretty normal thing for my listing state, I started surfing Facebook's news networks channels. Lo and Behold, I came across Our Beloved Ewok's most recent status update: "Would someone please come kidnap me?" Forget docile light bulbs; there were major fireworks erupting from my brain.
First I assembled my team: Sonic and Captain Reynolds were in. (Of course, we had to wait for Sonic to finish class (who has class until 4:30pm on Fridays, seriously?).)
Next I assembled the equipment: One Nerf N-Strike Raider Rapid Fire CS 35 (look it up, it's completely awesome), one Green Lightsaber, one Red F150, four Apples to Apples Green Cards, four Personally Made Chinese Fortune Tellers and one Personal Goodie Bag.
The actual entering strategy was created and discussed on the ride into the vicinity of Our Beloved Ewok Friend. The Strike Team was prepared for three possible situations; however, they were not prepared for the "Just stepped out of the shower" situation they came up against. Thankfully though, the kidnapping was carried out without any extra victims.
After the successful retrieval, the group went to Perkins for a quick banquet.
The elder company at the banquet was almost more than could be handled, but after cleaning up the table and a small mix-up with the F150 and a flag pole wire, the group was on their way again.
The Apples to Apples cards and Chinese Fortune Tellers were to determine the later activities of the night. Despite this preparation, all order was flung into the wind and the group retired to the local bowling alley for some Black Light Bowling. The competition was fierce between Sonic, Captain Reynolds and Our Beloved Ewok Friend. I, Yoda, am above such competition. (Well, actually, without the use of my right arm, my left handed bowling is not quite as impressive as my normal game.)
A good time was had by all, despite the leaving of Our Beloved Ewok Friend's sunglasses and car keys in the F150 after her return to her normal domain.
Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs?
After some thought, its obvious. The answer must be yes. The cycle is well known after all: first comes the egg, then the caterpillar, then the cocoon (or scientifically: chrysalis), then the butterfly. You can't have butterflies without the previous three chains in the life cycle.
The prevailing thought must conclusively be that people accidentally eat the eggs. Next, the caterpillars are born and that is when you can experience the having-creepy-crawling-things-in-your-stomach feeling, because you do in fact have crawling things in your stomach. After the caterpillars have munched enough on your enjoyed salad lunch, they cocoon themselves. However since cocoons do not do much, you do not notice them hanging around in your stomach. You only get to relish the whole experience when the butterflies emerge!
But, how do they manage to time this cycle perfectly with when you get nervous?
The prevailing thought must conclusively be that people accidentally eat the eggs. Next, the caterpillars are born and that is when you can experience the having-creepy-crawling-things-in-your-stomach feeling, because you do in fact have crawling things in your stomach. After the caterpillars have munched enough on your enjoyed salad lunch, they cocoon themselves. However since cocoons do not do much, you do not notice them hanging around in your stomach. You only get to relish the whole experience when the butterflies emerge!
But, how do they manage to time this cycle perfectly with when you get nervous?
A Collection of Over Two Thousand Geeky Women...
Last week I attended the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing Conference in Atlanta. It was quite an adventure. Once we arrived at the airport we needed to find a way to our hotel. So, we took the subway. It was a bit scary; there were multiple signs for what to do if you feel like you are in a dangerous situation. Not exactly reassuring. Although it was a bit more comforting when one man was able to gather quite a few people for a sing-a-long. Once on the street we wandered around until finding the hotel.
The hotel was, to say the least, glamorous. Story after story after story. And the elevator walls were glass, which made it quite fun to ride down from the 12th floor. I had to remind myself that I am an adult now in order to prevent myself from continuously riding the elevator more than necessary.
The actual conference was very nice as well. There were plenty of good presentations and discussions to attend, and more free stuff than one could ever imagine... One company even gave me a laundry bag. I mean, really?
Meeting all the people was very interesting. I met one girl who called our project "pretty epic" and was quite excited to find that we had named our printer R2 and boasted that her lab contained a cardboard cutout of Han Solo in carbonite. Pretty jealous I am.
To close out my adventure, I went to a dance that they held for all the attendees of the conference, almost all women. Let me tell you, watching 100s of very nerdy and professional women dance to Party in the USA and form a gigantic conga line is something you don't see everyday...
The hotel was, to say the least, glamorous. Story after story after story. And the elevator walls were glass, which made it quite fun to ride down from the 12th floor. I had to remind myself that I am an adult now in order to prevent myself from continuously riding the elevator more than necessary.
The actual conference was very nice as well. There were plenty of good presentations and discussions to attend, and more free stuff than one could ever imagine... One company even gave me a laundry bag. I mean, really?
Meeting all the people was very interesting. I met one girl who called our project "pretty epic" and was quite excited to find that we had named our printer R2 and boasted that her lab contained a cardboard cutout of Han Solo in carbonite. Pretty jealous I am.
To close out my adventure, I went to a dance that they held for all the attendees of the conference, almost all women. Let me tell you, watching 100s of very nerdy and professional women dance to Party in the USA and form a gigantic conga line is something you don't see everyday...
Sonic's Star Wars Spectacular!
So Sonic's birthday was last week and in celebration of her birthday
the sun came out today!
Well, okay, perhaps that is not the real reason the sun decided to come out today,
but after at least 6 days of rain in this town,
everyone was a little excited to see it.
On to her birthday!
The Theme for the week was Star Wars because she had a project last year and this summer to build a 3D printer who ended up with the name R2
In coordination with the theme Sonic was given R2D2 Trouble, the Lego Luke's Landcrusier, and of course, a Lightsaber.
And some pretty sweet cards and clues to her gifts.
One can always depend on R2 to save the day!
(May the Force be with you!)
"This Magic Moment..."
Today is just a string of cool pictures from the last month. I am sorry some of the them are sideways; I failed to rotate them before adding them to blogger.
Alpaca!
If you can't read this bulletin, it says:
"This is a Velociraptor-free workplace.
It has proudly been
3
days since the last Velociraptor incident."
I think they are actually up to 6 or 7 days now. We support their mission! Hang in there!
Obviously an Episcopalian Church door. It was pretty.
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The computer science department has a Final Exam Poster which includes this section. Can you finish this in the fifteen minutes alloted?
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Alpaca!
"This is a Velociraptor-free workplace.
It has proudly been
3
days since the last Velociraptor incident."
I think they are actually up to 6 or 7 days now. We support their mission! Hang in there!
Obviously an Episcopalian Church door. It was pretty.
This is an awesomely painted picture
Sonic, Captain Reynolds and I saw at an art show.
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Fall has come!
Enjoy your Saturday everyone!
PS. I think I have changed the settings so that anyone can comment irregardless of registered Blogger ID. Would someone give it a try?
Rub-a-dub-dub
When you hear this phrase you can probably recite many of the succeeding lines. Yoda, Captain Reynolds, and myself did this a few days ago. However, the question was raised as to why there were three men in a tub. After further research we found more lines to the poem. There are many variations. This was our favorite:
Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick-maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
'Twas enough to make a man stare.
So, our question is more or less answered: they jumped out of a rotten potato. However, this raises many, many more questions. For instance, where is this rotten potato that is apparently large enough to hold three men? And why is there even one, let alone three, man subjecting himself to a mound of rottenness?
What is going on here?!
Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick-maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
'Twas enough to make a man stare.
So, our question is more or less answered: they jumped out of a rotten potato. However, this raises many, many more questions. For instance, where is this rotten potato that is apparently large enough to hold three men? And why is there even one, let alone three, man subjecting himself to a mound of rottenness?
What is going on here?!
Laying Down the Law at Headquarters
Here at Headquarters we have a few rules.
Simple, Easy, and Concise I lay them out:
1. No Falling
This rule is imperative after the summer's horrific fall by Yoda off a mountain bike. Any more falling may result in tragedies with already hurt body parts or injuring new body parts, which would also be tragic and unacceptable.
The Consequence if a person falls is the horrific, the abominable, the execrable, the delectable, Death By Shirtless Biker.
2. No Exploding Brains
Obviously humans need their brains for normal functioning and thus, if a brain explodes it is no longer any use to the human attached. Everyone must keep their brain to themselves and in prime condition at all times.
The Consequence if a person allows their brain to explode is to suffer a ghastly and harrowing fall.
3. No Death By Shirtless Biker
This may seem a bit arbitrary to some folks, but the rule has its merits. One cannot said another has died with a straight face if the cause is a Shirtless Biker. And we are not discussing tunic-less chopper riders, we are particularly discussing shirtless velocipede riders.
The Consequence if a person dies by Shirtless Biker is to have their brain exploded by dynamite.
Simple, Easy, and Concise I lay them out:
1. No Falling
This rule is imperative after the summer's horrific fall by Yoda off a mountain bike. Any more falling may result in tragedies with already hurt body parts or injuring new body parts, which would also be tragic and unacceptable.
The Consequence if a person falls is the horrific, the abominable, the execrable, the delectable, Death By Shirtless Biker.
2. No Exploding Brains
Obviously humans need their brains for normal functioning and thus, if a brain explodes it is no longer any use to the human attached. Everyone must keep their brain to themselves and in prime condition at all times.
The Consequence if a person allows their brain to explode is to suffer a ghastly and harrowing fall.
3. No Death By Shirtless Biker
This may seem a bit arbitrary to some folks, but the rule has its merits. One cannot said another has died with a straight face if the cause is a Shirtless Biker. And we are not discussing tunic-less chopper riders, we are particularly discussing shirtless velocipede riders.
The Consequence if a person dies by Shirtless Biker is to have their brain exploded by dynamite.
Even as these Rules are laid out, there is room for more. What are we missing?
It Is Not Against The Rules To Use Mace In the Hallway...
It is amazing what one learns in college. Since I never thought I would be any kind of activist or uncooperative criminal, I thought for sure I was safe from knowing what breathing mace spray was like. Apparently I was wrong.
Last night the adventures of dorm living included learning that someone had accidentally sprayed some sort of pepper/mace in the hallway and then having to figure out how to clear the hallway of the offending chemicals.
For any of you that would really like to know, it smells strong, it burns your eyes and tickles/burns the back of your throat, can make you tear up and cough. Symptoms get worse depending on how close you are to the spray and where it enters your body.
This is one product we would like to offer some sage advice about:
Do not accidentally spray mace, pepper spray, or tear gas anywhere.
Just saying.
Last night the adventures of dorm living included learning that someone had accidentally sprayed some sort of pepper/mace in the hallway and then having to figure out how to clear the hallway of the offending chemicals.
For any of you that would really like to know, it smells strong, it burns your eyes and tickles/burns the back of your throat, can make you tear up and cough. Symptoms get worse depending on how close you are to the spray and where it enters your body.
This is one product we would like to offer some sage advice about:
Do not accidentally spray mace, pepper spray, or tear gas anywhere.
Just saying.
What do little birdies see if they get knocked unconscious?
Stars!!
Unfortunately I saw a problem with this simple answer. See when people are unconscious, they see birds, birds then see stars and when stars get knocked unconscious, they stop dancing. When they stop dancing, the gravitational pull changes. When the gravitational pull changes, people lose their balance and fall, birds lose their direction and run into things... kind of a domino effect.
Which made me think of a story I once took part in writing, you know if you give a moose a moon pie...
"If you give a moose a moonpie
she'll want some milk to go with it
she'll demand some honey, because that is an inalienable right
and then she'll want to make biscuits but
biscuits need sausage gravy
and so she'll have to go on a road trip to the south
so she'll want a pick 'em up truck
and then she'll need dark sunglasses and a nerf gun for pretend drive bys
and what's a pair of cheap sunglasses without a Hawaiian shirt?
in her stylish new hawaiian shirt she'll want a pina colada
but if you give a moose a pina colada, she'll want a cookie to go with it, macaroon perhaps
but with the macaroon, she'll need some water, and then she'll have to go to the bathroom, but
if she finds a lavatory, she'll want new shampoo and conditioner
then she'll take a shower but won't be able to find her hairbrush
and then various fruits and vegetables will burst into song at which point she will want voice lessons
but she won't have any money for voice lessons, so shell think about getting a job
but once she has a job, she'll want a new wardrobe
once she has a new wardrobe, she'll sit in it hoping to go to Narnia
once she gets back from Narnia, she'll be hungry
so she will want a moonpie..."
Unfortunately I saw a problem with this simple answer. See when people are unconscious, they see birds, birds then see stars and when stars get knocked unconscious, they stop dancing. When they stop dancing, the gravitational pull changes. When the gravitational pull changes, people lose their balance and fall, birds lose their direction and run into things... kind of a domino effect.
Which made me think of a story I once took part in writing, you know if you give a moose a moon pie...
"If you give a moose a moonpie
she'll want some milk to go with it
she'll demand some honey, because that is an inalienable right
and then she'll want to make biscuits but
biscuits need sausage gravy
and so she'll have to go on a road trip to the south
so she'll want a pick 'em up truck
and then she'll need dark sunglasses and a nerf gun for pretend drive bys
and what's a pair of cheap sunglasses without a Hawaiian shirt?
in her stylish new hawaiian shirt she'll want a pina colada
but if you give a moose a pina colada, she'll want a cookie to go with it, macaroon perhaps
but with the macaroon, she'll need some water, and then she'll have to go to the bathroom, but
if she finds a lavatory, she'll want new shampoo and conditioner
then she'll take a shower but won't be able to find her hairbrush
and then various fruits and vegetables will burst into song at which point she will want voice lessons
but she won't have any money for voice lessons, so shell think about getting a job
but once she has a job, she'll want a new wardrobe
once she has a new wardrobe, she'll sit in it hoping to go to Narnia
once she gets back from Narnia, she'll be hungry
so she will want a moonpie..."
- Yoda and the Jedi Master
Say what you will about the text message messing with culture, but sometimes the results are just amazing.
The Wonders of Paper Clips
For some of you, the wonders of paper clips and their immense value to society comes as no shock. You have used a paper clip as intended, you have created jewelry, picked locks, and defended yourself from attack with these little pieces of metal.
I have brought the paper clip to our attention here this morning, not because I make jewelry with paper clips, not because I use them to pick locks, or defend myself, or even because two years ago I fixed a women's bathroom stall in a college academic building and that paper clip is still holding strong in place, but because a fellow member of humanity this morning thought it fit to throw away a bunch of these wonders.
Frankly, I was appalled.
So, I wanted to bring the attention of all our esteemed readers to bear on the glory of paper clips today. Douglas Adams failed to understand the importance of paper clips in daily living and thus forgot to add that one should also always have a paper clip or two at the bottom of ones pockets, however we shall not ruin him for this mistake.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful day and remember to keep a paper clip near by!
I have brought the paper clip to our attention here this morning, not because I make jewelry with paper clips, not because I use them to pick locks, or defend myself, or even because two years ago I fixed a women's bathroom stall in a college academic building and that paper clip is still holding strong in place, but because a fellow member of humanity this morning thought it fit to throw away a bunch of these wonders.
Frankly, I was appalled.
So, I wanted to bring the attention of all our esteemed readers to bear on the glory of paper clips today. Douglas Adams failed to understand the importance of paper clips in daily living and thus forgot to add that one should also always have a paper clip or two at the bottom of ones pockets, however we shall not ruin him for this mistake.
Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful day and remember to keep a paper clip near by!
Political, Common Sensible, Environmental, Spiritual, Poetical, Responsible, Schnorkelgombical, etc Angst,
I'll let everyone who doesn't already know in on a little secret, I like mail. I like to get mail. I like to send mail. I like the whole concept of letters in the mail, writing to people, paper, pen, stamps. Its a big joking point in my family, they make fun on me because I like mail. Mail.
However,
there are some things I cannot stand.
Because of my summer run-in with a certain rock that broke my collarbone, I am now covered under the government. And while I normally keep my nose completely free of rants or angst against the government...
I have endured too much.
Every time they send me something in the mail, the first page contains only the office mailing address at the top, my mailing address, and the date.
All of which is in the same place on the second paper along with the letter.
Effectively rendering the first page completely blank and useless.
How irresponsible! How non-environmentally friendly! How unpoetical!
I Shall Not Stand For This Any Longer!!
We Shall March On Washington!
WHO IS WITH ME!?!
Why Don't Humans Get Dizzy From The World Spinning So Fast?
This here is an interesting question: Why Don't humans get dizzy from the world spinning so fast? At the equator, the world spins more than 1000 miles per hour, which is pretty darn fast. Here in the temperate zones, the world spins between 700-900 miles per hour. Fast enough to get a little dizzy every once in a while.
Luckily, I have found the scientific answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R73yElC2BDc
watch the first 2:30 minutes and it will tell you.
(Raj slows it down when you do get dizzy; he is just nice like that)
Of course, if that answer is not romantic enough for you, Latro reminded me with the below, that there are some people in the world, spinning counterclockwise just to keep the Earth from going too fast.
http://xkcd.com/162/
Another day well spun, another question answered.
Luckily, I have found the scientific answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R73yElC2BDc
watch the first 2:30 minutes and it will tell you.
(Raj slows it down when you do get dizzy; he is just nice like that)
Of course, if that answer is not romantic enough for you, Latro reminded me with the below, that there are some people in the world, spinning counterclockwise just to keep the Earth from going too fast.
http://xkcd.com/162/
Another day well spun, another question answered.
Declassified (But oh so classy)
About a fortnight ago, Yoda and Sonic embarked on a daring and treacherous mission. Their story can only now be released to the public.
Objective: Acquire gnome pictures
Location: Campus, Allegheny College
Code names: Mal, Zoe (in respect to those bad ass souls who were so mercilessly destroyed (aka cancelled by Fox))
Priority: Urgent (the fate of gnome week depends upon the success or failure of this mission)
The first task was to acquire said gnome, Norman. Fortunately, this went off without much of a hitch, as the protector of the gnome was away.
The adventurers then set off on their journey, heading to steffee, campus security, the gator quad, and the campus center.
There was an unfortunate happening when Norman somehow got himself trapped in a freezer, but everyone was ok.
Norman and his compatriots even stopped at the gym for a quick set of leg presses...
Norman also got to visit his good friend R2-D2. However, one of the most exciting moments of the evening came when Norman's friend, the Red Man, dropped in for a surprise visit!
After so much excitement it was finally time for Norman to go back to bed and Yoda and Sonic had acquired plenty of pictures.
Outcome: Mission Accomplished
Objective: Acquire gnome pictures
Location: Campus, Allegheny College
Code names: Mal, Zoe (in respect to those bad ass souls who were so mercilessly destroyed (aka cancelled by Fox))
Priority: Urgent (the fate of gnome week depends upon the success or failure of this mission)
The first task was to acquire said gnome, Norman. Fortunately, this went off without much of a hitch, as the protector of the gnome was away.
The adventurers then set off on their journey, heading to steffee, campus security, the gator quad, and the campus center.
There was an unfortunate happening when Norman somehow got himself trapped in a freezer, but everyone was ok.
Norman and his compatriots even stopped at the gym for a quick set of leg presses...
Norman also got to visit his good friend R2-D2. However, one of the most exciting moments of the evening came when Norman's friend, the Red Man, dropped in for a surprise visit!
After so much excitement it was finally time for Norman to go back to bed and Yoda and Sonic had acquired plenty of pictures.
Outcome: Mission Accomplished
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